tonight, tonight

Tonight I completely fell apart. Although I do not want to publicly share the sequence of events that led me there, I would like to share my gratitude. I am so very thankful for a few people who were ready and willing to pick me back up and dust me off. Some of my dearest friends were physically unable to lend an ear. They were out of town or sleeping or boxing. And I know they would've been there too, if they could've. But I really want to express how grateful I was to end my night the way I did, sitting in a bar laughing with Eric and Brandon and his friend Vanessa laughing and dancing in our chairs.

Frank and Audrey were there offering their shoulders and I would've taken them up on it, but I couldn't handle the long drive. With absolutely no hesitation, they made themselves available at an obscene hour for most. That in and of itself was enough to help me get my bearings.

My dear sweet sister has the biggest heart of anyone I know. Most often she wears it on her sleeve and I love her for it. She's always ready with her smile and quick wit and it makes me proud to call her my own flesh and blood. I'm grateful for her every single day and maybe I don't say it enough. I really should say it more.

Frank is a kindred spirit. He has been through so much heartache, exponentially more than my own, and yet he always finds some way to offer up a seemingly endless well of love and understanding and compassion. For years we have considered each other siblings. So much has transpired between us that it would be impossible to think of him any other way. I love him for all that he is.

I always knew there was a reason why I "married" Eric. He is so very special to me. I tell him constantly; we both do actually, so it wasn't a revelation or anything. But I was definitely reminded of just how strong a friendship we have. It's true we haven't known each other for more than a couple of years, but in that short time he has become one of my best friends. We've weathered a few storms together, leaning on each other and once crying our eyes out, unable to speak. And each time we have ended with a smile, a hug, a kiss and then a warm smile. I love him very much. He already knows it because I tell him every time I speak to him. But I thought everyone else should know how wonderful he is.

For those who were there and for those who wished they could've been, thank you.