If you get angry/mean/antagonistic when you're drunk and the only person every laughing is you, please do not drink around me. Ever.
For some reason, the mean drunks like to pick on me and it's really annoying. Last night, for instance...
After dealing with a very emotional phone call from a certain friend I made my way to Soho to join my father in his pre-birthday celebration. P-freaking-S everybody!!! My dad's birthday is today. Happy Birthday dad!!
So we were up at Soho last night and i felt like it was Dean 2.0 or something. some guy my dad sort of knows through Angela started harassing me like crazy. i sat down and within two seconds he started up:
HIM: i feel like I've met you before, but i don't remember your name.
ME: Yeah i dunno. I'm not great with names either. It's all good.
HIM: well we're meeting again now, so, this time make yourself memorable.
ME: [pause] um, ok. [sarcastically] ready? go!
Now, before i continue, let me give you a little preface of sorts. The words that left this guy's mouth were almost entirely saturated in a condescending tone. Every word sort of oozed from his lips and his body language said that we were lucky to drink in every word.
However, i respectfully disagree. It's the same story I've told maybe a thousand times, just with different players. Man #1 is "normally" a nice guy, until he gets drunk and/or high and then he's an asshole. To me, this excuse is tired and annoying. If you turn into a monster when you get drunk, don't get drunk. It's obnoxious and then people stop returning your phone calls and turning their backs on you in public places.
Yeah, I've stop talking to people like that. It happens.
Meanwhile, back at Soho...
HIM: So, what are you going to school for?
ME: computer science.
HIM: yeah, but i mean, like for what?
ME: i work in IT, so I'm finishing up my bachelors so i can make more money and have a little more job security.
HIM: yeah but what's your specialty?
ME: networking.
HIM: what kind?
ME: network management.
HIM: meaning?
ME: you know, i don't really like talking about work.
Remember the tone!!! It's all about the damn tone.
Later on, we were standing at the bar asking for another drink...
HIM: how long does it take you to do your hair?
--time the hell out! does this sound familiar to anyone but me?--
ME: (!!!!!!) ha. um, i dunno, a few minutes.
HIM: you're lying.
ME: Ok.
HIM: seriously, how long does it take you?
ME: a few minutes.
HIM: you're lying.
ME: whatever.
HIM: you have very small ears.
ME: ok.
HIM: do you like having small ears?
ME: im fine with it.
HIM: really?
ME: yes.
HIM: but they're so small.
ME: so what? i don't care. (this is where i start biting my nails b/c I'm annoyed)
HIM: don't bite your nails.
ME: listen, don't tell me what to f**kin do.
HIM: oh, god. you and those small ears.
later on, at the table...
...and in between him starting to make a comment and my dad telling him very sternly, "watch it.":
HIM: [to me, from across two tables] your ears are so small.
PAPA BEAR: so f**kin what? I said, 'watch it'. quit talking about her damn ears.
HIM: [ignoring him, adressing me still] I've never seen someone with ears so small.
ME: Ok.
HIM: what's wrong? you seem upset.
ME: I'm not upset. i don't know what you're trying to do, if you're trying to get a rise out of me or something, but you're barking up the wrong tree. i don't give a damn what you think about my ears or my hair or my name or whatever.
I was smiling the whole time he was trying to get a rise out of me. It was bizarre. My dad asked me later why i didn't talk about his hair, b/c it was disgusting. I just told him i really didn't want to give him an excuse to drag out another stupid conversation.
I'm only sharing it now as a sort of public service/case study. This is Exhibit 842: another drunk asshole bugs the shit out of me on the patio.
It's weird how certain men will sit down with us, get wasted and then start picking on me. I feel like maybe they're projecting or something. As far as I'm concerned, if your friends have to walk out after you, turning back and saying, "i swear, he's normally a nice guy", you should probably stop drinking.
I know this was short, but I wanted to post it quick so it won't get lost in the post i will be doing tomorrow or the day after. It's gonna be chock full of whatever happens tonight.
I'd like to leave you with this:
This is me and Val sword fighting with bread sticks. I think it was two Christmases ago. Miss you Val!!
