I want to have babies with Missy Higgins.

A brief note: I wrote most of this the day before yesterday and totally forgot to post it. So, I opened it back up today, added a couple things and ta-da. It's done. Not great, but done. I debated scrapping the damn thing and starting over with something else, but decided to post this one, only because I have tossed so many nearly finished entries in the past month. I plan on writing another one on Sunday. Anyway...

I keep seeing these trailers for the new X Files movie and laughing. 20th Century Fox is billing it as "the movie of the summer". Obviously, they have not heard of a little project called The Dark Knight, which I totally saw last night. If you haven't yet, you need to get on that shit.



I won't even tell you about the movie. Read a review if you wanna know specifics, go see it, or ruin all the fun and read the spoilers. What I will tell you about is the awesome little thing that happened just as the movie was starting. The lights dimmed to black and everyone turned to one another saying, "shh... oh my god be quiet. seriously, shut up. it's starting."




Love it.

I think we've all had at least a half dozen or so times when we've wanted to take a bat to the head of some asshole that won't shut up during the movie. And let me clarify something: when I say "talking" during as movie, I mean on a cell phone or to the person next to them regarding a completely unrelated subject. AND when they are loud enough for everyone to hear said person over the damn surround sound. THAT, my friends is a serious offense.

I know it should make me feel like a crotchety old man when I say things like that, but it doesn't because I've felt pretty strongly about it for roughly ten years now.

I once went to see this god-awful Schwarzenegger movie with my mother and there was a group of kids sitting at the end of the row that would not shut up. They were talking and laughing and carrying on and I begged my mother to let me say something to them, but she told me to let it go. I fumed in my chair. I might've disregarded her instruction had we been watching a movie I was excited for.

As it was, we closed our eyes, spun around three times and pointed to the title we were watching. So, I let it go mostly. I didn't say a single word. Although, I found it hard to focus on the movie. I was too busy plotting a beating they'd never forget.




Jay and I went to the movies like it was our job. I think we probably went at least once a week, if not more, especially in the summer. Our frequency had only increased the odds of me having a meltdown over people that wouldn't shut the hell up.

There were several occasions when he gave me this look, it was sort of a, "for the love of god, let it go. those guys are enormous and i don't feel like getting my ass kicked" kind of look. Despite his silent pleas, there were many times I turned around to the people behind me and asked, "please stop kicking my fucking chair, asshole" or "will you please keep it down? i didn't pay eight bucks to listen to you whine about the fact that your boyfriend has crabs. thanks."

One time I fell asleep during a movie, which I believe to be a cardinal sin. The only reason I'm sharing it is because it's funny and I don't like to live by double standards.

Anyway, I went to the Main Art in Royal Oak to see a string of episodes of a TV series produced locally. It was basically a test screening/opportunity for everyone involved in the project to watch it together. The plot was a thinly veiled carbon copy of this book written in the 70's that I cannot recall right now. They hoped to get picked up by the sci-fi channel, but I doubt they've had any luck.

I swear to you, I have seen nearly every single episode of the first, and probably only season, and I never had any fucking clue what was going on. It was the most confusing plot I've ever been subjected to. When Jarvis would explain it to me afterwards, my first question to him was always, "why didn't they show all that stuff you're talking about?" They basically left out the plot and replaced it with bloated scenes of people wandering around abandoned buildings in Detroit.

Score.

During a particularly boring episode they introduced some lovely Blair Witch camera moves that would've rendered Lucille 2 completely helpless. Naturally, I fell asleep. I didn't mean to at all, I just sort of sank down a little lower in my chair and before I knew it, the credits were rolling and everyone was clapping. So I sat up casually and joined right in on the clapping. No one had any idea I was asleep.

It probably had to do with the fact that the other friends I'd come with were playing Tetris on their cellphones and texting each other. Jarvis didn't know either, until I told him drunkenly maybe a year or so after. He was in the episode, and I completely missed it. But I'd seen him in a few others, so I didn't feel completely awful about it. I was more proud of my ability to join in with the clapping. Normally, when I'm startled awake I freak out enough to give myself away. But not that time. I just sort of sat up casually... clapclapclap, well done. i really liked this one.




Last night
i went to see The Dark Knight again AND in the IMAX theatre in Dearborn. I think I liked it even better the second time around. There's crap in there that I missed the first time around. And there was an added bonus of sitting next to an elderly couple that would not shut up through most of the film.

OLD MAN: What did he say?
OLD WOMAN: What?
OLD MAN: I said, 'what did he say?'
OLD WOMAN: Oh...um...he said something about that Rachel girl.
OLD MAN: Oh.
[long pause]
OLD MAN: Wait, what just happened? [clears throat aggressively, almost painfully in a way that manages to somehow sound both dry and wet and then accomplish nothing but a disruption]
OLD MAN again: Is that the police chief?
OLD WOMAN: No, I think he's a lieutenant.
OLD MAN: Are you sure?
OLD WOMAN: Yes.
(on screen the Joker says "helllloooo beautiful."
OLD WOMAN: I don't think she's that pretty.
OLD MAN: [clears throat again in the same manner] Me neither.
[brief pause]
OLD MAN: Wait...what did he say?
OLD WOMAN: I don't know. You were coughing.
OLD MAN: Oh. Right. Well...[begins to clear throat again]

Oh. My. God.

Have you ever heard of Missy Higgins? If not, check her out immediately. I saw her live last week and she was incredible. I swear to you that I have always been one of those girls who swears that she will never conceive children. I've been saying it for-e-ver. That all changed last week Wednesday.

I want to have babies with Missy Higgins.

Trust me, she's amazing.





Chelsea told me I have to get in line behind her. But whatevs.

She was so amazing live. She waltzed on stage very casually, fresh from the shower no less. She told us so. Her hair was pretty much dry by the end. I just really love her a lot.

And seeing a band/artist you really like is kind of a make or break thing, for me anyway. Here is the short list of bands/artists (I've seen in the last few years) who cemented themselves as genuinely good musicians/stage presences (in no particular order):

Missy Higgins
One Republic
Motion City Soundtrack
As Tall As Lions
Copeland
Thursday
Freer

They put on a damn good show. I was impressed and not counting ATAL, I wouldn't have ventured past the surface of any of their music catalogs if it weren't for their stellar live performance.

Here's the short list of people who I can't stand/get bored watching live, therefore, rarely listen to. Again, I've seen them recently and they are in no particular order:

Fall Out Boy
The Fray
Mae
Cute Is What We Aim For
Tegan and Sara

and most local bands I see.

It's good to note that the bad list is shorter than the good list. So, I mean, there's hope.

The point is, Missy Higgins was the shit.

Speaking of live bands...

The ladies and I are playing in Toledo tomorrow and I'm so flipping excited. You have no idea. I mean, I'm totally nervous too. But I'd say I'm much more excited. And I will totally understand if you don't make it. It's short notice and what-not.

BUT, if you can, you should totally come out to the Pub Crawl in Ferndale tonight. It's gonna be a blast. I'm sure I'll have some sweet ass pictures from it.