I was convinced that I was fully capable of coming up with a flavor of chewing gum that would revolutionize the industry, that I would write an Oscar winning screenplay at the age of 12 and that one day my family and I (because of our infinite talents and irresistible charisma) would all be famous like the Kennedy’s, except w/o the curse part.
I was always taking notes; having started a journal in the fourth grade b/c my teacher told me it was a good idea. I noted the way my parents raised me, the decisions everyone made around me and I told myself I would learn from everyone’s mistakes, thus eliminating the hassle of making my own. It would free up an awful lot of the time necessary for achieving the laundry list of shit I felt was completely within my grasp.
As the years have rolled on, I’ve had the wind knocked out of me enough times to know that with all my high hopes, I am still capable of a lot of the silly ideas I had, but I am not however, exempt from making roughly one billion mistakes along the way.
Some of my greatest (aka, favorite) ideas i've had along the way are things that I still plan to do one day.
1. Build a tree house like the one in Swiss Family Robinson.
That movie changed my life in so many ways. Have you seen the film? I still, STILL love that movie as much now as i did the first time I saw it. They live in the most amazing tree house of all time. It is my plan, to one day, build a tree house exactly like the one in the movie.
I used to throw the movie on and pause it at the appropriate times so I could fine tune the blue print I was drafting. I drew side views and front views and planned where the furniture would go and studied our Atlas for potential uncharted islands where I could set up my little get-away.
Unfortunately, the sketches I made were lost in one of our moves. But I still plan to build a tree house like theirs one day. And it won’t be one of those stupid ones I keep finding online. It has to be half fort, half house and the coconut grenades will absolutely be part of the equation.
2. Run my own company.
Technically, technically, I have already done this one. Jarvis and I started up a film company that is still in existence. However, because we have yet to finish the two films we shot and because we rarely see each other anymore, I cannot officially cross this off my list, which is why it’s here now.
In my weirdo dreams as a tot I owned a fake company with my cousin David. We named the company D.E. Electronics and to this day I have no idea what we were pretending to sell. But in the lengthy infomercial like commercials we produced, you would think we had that shit nailed down. I produced graphs and charts comparing our company to our “competitors” and explained in clear plain English, that our company was simply the best blahblahblah. I should dig up those videos.
My point is, I was practicing for the two jobs I would hold one day. The first being my job for Valassis, aka corporate America, aka the man, the second one is my current job at BPI Information Systems, which, ps, I have a hard time explaining to people just like I did w/the fake electronics company I had when I was 13.
3. Be in a band.
Ok, technically, I also did this one too/am doing it right now. BUT, since I am not in a band called Hanson, this one is also technically not completed yet.
I started guitar lessons when I was maybe 5 and then I started piano lessons maybe a year or so later that would continue for more than a few years. I have since forgotten pretty much everything I ever learned on the piano and regret that I didn’t stick with is. But, I only half regret it b/c I picked up the drums a few years after and I like the drums a lot more, so whatever.
Anyway, I was obsessed with Hanson when I was younger. They rocked my world like whoa, and I will always, always, always love them for that.
When I was younger I would very frequently cancel plans with friends or tell them I couldn’t hang out cause I was “busy” so that I could escape to my room of handmade instruments. I already owned a midget guitar, or wait… sorry--a "little people" guitar--but I needed a bass so I made one out of shit I found around the house and then made a drum kit out of pots and pans and banged on them with the handles of wooden spoons.
I had a boom box that I would record my songs on and often times I would force my sisters to play along b/c it was pretty much impossible to play all of the parts by myself and all at the same time. Oh man! I forgot about my Casio keyboard! That thing was, I am not kidding, the coolest thing ever. I also used that for my fake band and cursed my sisters for not possessing the necessary musical talent, the desire to play music with me in the first place and the dream of one day being on TRL.
Sidenote: I loved TRL when it first started. I used to tape the show and study it for my other future career…
4. Be a host on TRL and/or a radio DJ.
The boom box did double duty and also served as a tool I would use to make my own radio shows that I would spend two weeks writing, recording and producing. I would then force my mother to listen to it on her way to work and force my dad and my sisters to listen to it on our way to his house on the weekends we'd spend with him.
I would include weather forecasts and hot news stories and little anecdotes that I thought were very clever. I wasted roughly 10,000 trees drafting and revising my scripts and the different components that made it up.
I also wrote, produced, directed and edited a fake TRL I made with my BFF from middle school. We took turns hosting and there was a period of time when I was obsessed with speeding up and slowing down the film, during which time I may or may not have aimed a fan at my BFF for a fake hair product commercial.
Also, this dream will never come true b/c they cancelled the show. Boo.
5. Own my own newspaper.
Around the holidays I used to put out newsletters. And when I say “put out”, I mean I would show up at my grandma’s house and race into the den to start work on it. I would write, edit and print out exactly too many copies of my newsletter and then force everyone to read it after dinner. They always had clever titles like the “Gobbler Gazette” and the one I did at Christmas time that I can’t recall right now, but was probably equally lame.
I’d put in word searches and word scrambles and articles about whatever holiday it was inter-spliced with fake advertisements so they would know I was legit.
Ho hum.
I may or may not continue this list. Right now, i have to get back to "work". In the meantime, what were some of your crazy ideas and do you plan on ever crossing them off your proverbial list?
Discuss.
2 comments:
You're awesome. I was OBSESSED with Hanson. While I was getting my braces put on, I was listening to my walkman but I only had the MMMbop cassette single, so I listened to it over and over and over again! So cool.
between my friend Gabby and I, we always pretended like we were famous equestrian riders. She had two horses (shyanne and Oreo) we would set up latters and fences and jump them like we were professional jumpers. It was always a good time. And I still wish I could continue to pursue it! =)
Post a Comment