"I want to be very clear about the Immaculate Conception."

Before I get to the rest of this post (that I wrote yesterday, ps) I wanna talk about how amazing my night was. Last night was fantastic. Rori and I went to Affirmations w/my dad. They had their first play, it included five monologues and a one act play by Christopher Durang. By. The. Way. I love Christopher Durang. I've loved his plays since high school, when I fell into theatre almost by accident. His dark, absurdist humor cracks my shit up. Love, Love, Love (Love, Love) Christopher Durang.

One of the monologues they did was from my favorite play by him called "Sister Mary Ignatius Explains It All For You". Although, that wasn't my favorite part of the show. I was so completely floored by the performance given by one of my very dear friends, the ever fabulous Chuck Simon. He donned a vintage 50's house wife Easter sunday pink frilly dress number AND heels to deliver a monologue from "Baby With The Bathwater":

Helen and John are very unprepared for parenthood. They can’t seem to name the baby. John thinks it’s a boy, but Helen says the doctors said they could decide later. When the baby cries, they can’t quite decide what to do. To their rescue comes Nanny – who enters their apartment as if by magic, and is full of abrupt shifts of mood, first cooing at the baby soothingly, then screaming at it. In subsequent scenes, John and Nanny have an affair, Helen takes baby and leaves, only to come back a moment later rain-soaked and unhappy. (“Well if it isn’t Nora five minutes after the end of A Doll’s House,” says Nanny.) At some point they finally name the baby Daisy, and as a toddler, Daisy has a penchant for running in front of buses; or for lying, depressed, in piles of laundry. We hear an alarming essay Daisy has written in school, and the principal, the terrifying Miss Willoughby, is oblivious to the essay’s cry for help, and instead gleefully awards it an A for style. Finally, we meet Daisy – dressed as a girl, but otherwise a polite, confused young man.

Chuck delivered a monologue as Daisy in that amazing dress. He was flawless and fabulous. It was so effing hysterical. I loved every second of it. After the show we went to Soho for drinks.

I am so pumped to start volunteering at Affirmations. I mean, seriously, guys. I hadn't been in the center yet until last night when my dad gave me a tour. It's so fantastic; I want to be attached to that program in any way possible. It's a safe, beautiful place where LGBT youth can go to hang out with other kids just like them. The walls are lined with rotating works of art by local artists and they have groups tailor made for a wide range of LGBT issues. I'm so proud to have that in the Metro area.

It's really beautiful. If you haven't checked it out yet, swing by and check it out. It's right in downtown Ferndale. I plan on getting involved ASAP. I spoke to the director of the show last night and she said that they'd like to do another show closer to the summer and I was like, "Holla! Sign me up!"

So, yeah. Really, really, really super excited about that.

ps, when I went looking for specific quotes from "Baby With The Bathwater" I came upon this. There are no words.

The rest of this entry was written yesterday, but is still completely relevant:

The interweb and I have finally rekindled our love affair and I am nearly beside myself with joy! What does this mean for you? I will be able to pack these posts with more fun stuff again. Like this article I found on Riese's blog. It's a fictional account of Heath Ledger's days written in the first person. It's good.

Tina Fey was in Parade this past weekend and it made me even more excited to see Baby Mama.


I love the part at the end of the trailer. The first time I watched it, I think I might've rewatched that sink part maybe five times. Awesome. I love Amy Poehler. The pair also did this really funny skit called "Sexy Tennis" during the writer's strike.

They're effing awesome. If I ever met them in real life, I would probs pass out or talk too much or freeze up like an idiot or something. I mean, I know they're normal people, but c'mon. They're so talented and hot at the same time that it's just ridiculous.

Anyway, I love Tina Fey. And Amy Poehler.

Remember how I blogged about how much I hate Facebook a while back? Yeah, well, I hate them even more now because until just now I had over 100 requests sent to me. They included but were not limited to:

Good karma
Karma
Scrabulous
Detroit tigers fans
Imperial galaxy
Knighthood
Fight club
Which 1950’s pinup are you?
Spice Girls
Genius
Dr. Phil’s Test
Your Birthday
Who is your one true love?
Which Super Smash Bros. Character are you?
What type of girl are you? (the gay kind, ps)
What’s your bedroom grade?
Are you good in bed?
What’s your biggest turn-on?
What is your kama sutra position?
Grammar test
The breakfast club quiz
Perfect match
Hug request
What does your birth date mean?
What’s your best quality?
What’s your musical instrument?
What is your dance style?
How evil are you?
What is your secret sexual fantasy?
Which ‘the hills’ character on you? (WTF is ‘the hills’)
What is your sex color?
What would you look like anime?
What color are you?
Are you a loser?
What kind of bride would you be?
PlaneCrazy
Oregon Trail (5 more of those fuckers!!)
What is your sex song?
What type of heart do you have?
You are sooo good looking
Nerd fight
Meet new people
Wedding calculator
What Disney song describes your life right now?
What flower are you?
What kind of smile do you have?
What is your secret sexual orientation? (um, I live with my gf. hello?)
What type of eyes do you have?
Characterize
What’s your rose color?
Dodgeball
How fat are you?
How stupid are you?
Blackjack
How sexy are you?

PS: all of the one's bolded were sent from the same person. Brandon Grantz. He caught wind of how much the applications are ruining my life and has made a hobby out of bombarding me with them almost daily. Damn! Here's a picture of Brandon. Dead.




Relax. it's from the movie we shot together that no one will ever see because it's been so long now, that if I show it to anyone they might turn to stone. Seriously.

Oh my god, seriously, today is the nicest day ever! It is so freaking pretty outside. As I am writing this draft I am seated facing a wall inside of, what basically amounts to a bunker.

See, i just got myself this new job. It's temporary but they're paying me a butt ton of money to do all of this IT grunt work stuff. Also, I am getting paid right this very moment to type this sentence. I didn't even interview for the job. I had a connection who called me a week ago and said, "here. this job is yours if you want it." By the next day I was hired w/out ever filling out an application, drug test, background check, nothing. Talk about trust. I feel like it's the 50's and they are simply trusting that I'm not a piece of shit or a psycopath based solely on the fact that I used to babysit for one of their newest employees. See? It's totally like the 50's, only better because no one cares that I'm gay; they just care that I do my job. How great is that?

I am having the best week ever. Well, sort of. Basically, yes. It started out really shitty. Rori left for ASBD and I was all sorts of sad. Some might say that I had a lot of feelings. Because I did, you know. But today it's all over and I'm happy to have her back. The bunnies might have died had she not returned, and then she would have been all kind of upset and she'd probs break up with me and move out because I killed the damn rabbits.

So, this job is awesome. The people are normal, even though one of them looks exactly like the creep ass from Red Dragon played by Ralph Fiennes.

Real quick! Speaking of creep ass: I have not seen JP in what feels like a lifetime but actually amounts to a few weeks. But still, it's getting ridiculous, kind of like the cold that's ruining my life right now.

But I'm happy! Things are going well! The weather is pretty so I am jaded in the best way! PS: I love JP.




Here was my first day:

Monday 9am

I arrived at 9am, even though I was aiming for 8:45 (ps, Ann Arbor is ridiculous pps, I still love it). I tried to go in the wrong door, found the right door, went through a maze of hallways and then up an elevator. It was basically like when Will Smith goes for the little test in Men In Black, except w/out aliens. But still, it was pretty much the same thing because I am working with a guy who looks like this:




He's nice though. I sent my mom and step-dad a text message:

ME: So I am riding in a car right now to a site w/a guy who looks like the creeper from Red Dragon "Come ride with me. For my pleasure."
HER: LMAO! Well, it's daytime and not rainging. You should be ok.
MY STEP-DAD: "Manny is a fool!"

Have you seen Red Dragon? It's really good.

Also. Have you heard who the latest inductee into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame is? Madonna. And who presented her with her little plaque or statue or what have you? Justin Timberlake. If you're anything like me, you thought, "wtf? Madonna? Rock?"

I mean, I love Madonna, but she is not rock & roll. She's the dance queen/gay icon/diva extraordinaire. But she is not The Beatles or The Rolling Stones. I mean, I guess her spirit is rock and roll. She's a rebel, she rolled around in a wedding dress on MTV once upon a time and into our lives and made that Sex book and makes the best dance songs ever. When Madonna comes on in the club, everyone loses their shit. The shirts come off the boys, we all squeal and dance like our lives are on the line. Because she's Madonna. She's amazing. But, she is NOT rock.

But, you know, good for her. Whatevs. It's Madonna.


SO...my new obsession is with a certain TV show that I never, ever, under any circumstances thought I would like: The Girls Next Door. I still don't get it but I effing love that show. Rori has the first two seasons on DVD and I have watched every single episode at least once and some of them I have viewed again with commentary.

I don't know. It's really funny. But I can't figure out why I watch it so much. Playboy's not my thing, I'm not usually that into blonde's and I usually only watch The First 48 on A & E....not anymore.