You know Avant Johnson? I used to shave his grandmother.

So many things.

chessy, melty, crunchy




First of all, I had a weird lunch break on Friday. I was craving Taco Bell like whoa. As a matter of fact, I'm craving it again today too.

The building I'm working out of right now is in the western most part of Ann Arbor, which means that there's nothing around here really. So, I went online and got directions to the nearest Taco Bell location.

I found it successfully, which I was somewhat surprised about. If you don't know Ann Arbor, it will be meaningless when I tell you that it's confusing as hell. The grid of the city fans out kind of like downtown Detroit, so keeping a firm grasp on what direction you're heading is, is nothing short of remarkable if you're unfamiliar.

Anyway, I found it while talking on the phone. So it was sort of like a double whoa that I found it in one shot. When I pulled up into the driveway I saw a sign that said "DO NOT ENTER" and there was an arrow pointing to the left. For whatever reason, my brain processed the sign as "DO NOT ENTER this way, go to the left instead."

Yeah. I was wrong. Way wrong. I went to the left and found myself making a really sharp turn. I thought to myself, this is weird. But I finished the turn and the little driveway spit me into the drive through going in the opposite direction.

Damn.




Now what?

There wasn't a lot of room for my car. In fact, there was just barely enough space for my car to pull past the people getting their food, but not enough to pull completely out of the drive through. The entrance narrowed, leaving only enough room for an incoming vehicle. So, I sat there and watched and waited as at least half a dozen people pulled in, placed their order and pulled passed me.

I was surprised that no one even glanced in my direction. I guess, they were really excited about their food, blinded by their hunger.

I sat there for at least five minutes until I was able to pull out, turn around and pull back in to get my Mexican pizza no meat, sub beans.

I felt like an idiot, but it was a small price to pay for my delicious lunch.

I should've taken my little mistake as a warning that maybe it wasn't such a great idea to eat my food while I was driving. I felt pretty confident about my driving and navigation skills. So much so, that I opted to eat and trust my memory to get me back to work.

Somewhere along the way I made a wrong turn. I mean, it happened, like that. One minute I was driving alongside the hospital campus and the next I was driving next to the Huron river. My jaw dropped and some of the melty deliciousness dripped down my hand. I was confused. But I was not disheartened.

I continued eating and guessed at my next few turns. I made a quick right onto a tiny road that looked promising, but was actually a hidden on ramp for M14. Within seconds I was on the freeway and heading out of the city. My jaw dropped again.

I mean, seriously. How hard could it be? I felt like an even bigger moron, but I stayed on the freeway, hoping to turn around at the next exit. It just so happened that the next exit was the one for US23 south, which seemed more logical than heading to Plymouth. So, I got on 23 and to my shock and amazement, got off at the first exit because it was the exit I get off on everyday when I head into work.

Ta-da. Success.

I totally got back to work and with time to spare. I was happy and full and ready to get back to work.

PS, i found the most amazing picture when I did a Google image search for Taco Bell:




my "luck" continued

The snow started coming down pretty vigorously when I was leaving work. It took my roughly half of a century to get to my cousin's place for dinner.

I will never understand why people freak out when it snows. It's not that hard to drive in the snow. It just isn't. Most of these people have driven in hundreds of snowfalls before, but they still drive like South Americans who have never seen snow with their own two eyes before. It's Michigan and it snows sometimes. This year, it snowed a lot. If you don't feel comfortable driving in the snow, don't. You're just bugging the shit out of everyone else.

So, I got to my cousins house and was horrified to discover that my pen had exploded in my pants. My leg is still dyed. This woman I work with suggested using Ajax and that terrifies me a little, but it's no more terrifying that the thought of having the ink under my skin for yet another day. So, later, I will probs try the super abrasive cleaner on my skin. It's gonna be interesting.




differently abled




The doors to this building (where I work, ps) remind me of something from Minority Report. They're big and heavy and glass and almost no one actually physically opens them. There's a big square plate button with a handicap logo that you can press and the doors will open for you. The location of the button is far from the door, so everyone presses it and by the time they get to the opening of the door, they waltz right in rolling luggage case behind them and all. I have yet to see an actual differently abled person use it.

And everyone brings luggage to work. Why? What could they possibly fill those cases with that's too important to do without and too risky to leave at their enormous desks? Do you know what I'm talking about? The suitcases that could pass for a carry-on at an airport, the kind with the wheels and the handle that pulls out. That kind.

snacking relations




The PR wing is full of snackers and the Medical Records staff has zero personality. Also, I have met two retarded people, who, if I had to guess, are probably not full on retarded. They are at least significantly autistic and they ask us really strange questions while they hunch over in corners having already alienated every single one of their co-workers. And I feel bad, you know. No one wants to talk to them, so I do. We have very interesting conversations about multi-colored paper clips and American Idol (which I've never seen once).

The other day I came home and my dad stopped by. I turned to leave the room for something and he asked, "why do you have shit on your pants?"

And I was all, "Whaaaa?"

Turns out it was a raisin that must've gotten stuck to my leg while I was under this one ladies' desk in the PR dept. I got down under her desk, after moving her foot rest out of the way (why with the foot rests? is it that exhausting to sit down? I've worked a desk job before and found them to be unnecessary. usually if you spin around in your chair once in a while it helps), I came upon one popcorn kernel, one walnut, one cheez it, one pretzel and apparently one raisin that got stuck to my ass.

and lastly

I found this at work the other day:




Awesome.

Oh, and just in case anyone was wondering, JP and I are still besties. :)