holy fucking shit, no one cares

I don't think I am ever going to get to a point in my life where I will understand why strangers feel the need to vent their problems to other strangers knowing full well that they're just wasting the other person's time. I know that might seem ridiculous coming from someone who keeps a blog, but I would like to think that it's a little bit different. Case in point:

I work at a law firm. I believe I have mentioned this on at least one occasion. As a whole, the job is average. It's a lot like most other jobs; some days you have a really good time and other days you want to throw yourself in front of a speeding bus. Today feels a lot like the latter.

Part of my job involves answering the phones when they ring. I work the late shift, so after 6-ish pm, all of our other offices forward their phones and I intercept all of their calls. Now, you might ask yourself why someone would call a law firm after 5pm. I'm not sure. The best I can reason is that maybe people are hoping to get the voicemail and then a call back the following day. But who knows? I am convinced that a large percentage of middle aged and elderly middle Americans love to hear the sound of their own voice.




I just got off the phone with a woman calling for the Illinois office. I gave her my little speech, "their phones are forwarded, blah blah blah, if you want I can email him the message blah blah blah."

She responded very slowly, "Oh....so they don't have voicemail?"

"No."

"Really? Well that's strange. So, no voicemail then?"

"That's correct."

"Well you see, I have a very bad head cold and I'm calling in regards to a settlement offer. Will you please tell him [coughs, but very forced and hallow sounding] Excuse me. I have a terrible head cold. If the settlement offer doesn't at least meet what I have requested then I am not interested."

"Ok. I'll give him that message. Thanks."

"I mean, why should I be expected to take $1,000 when the repairs alone will cost me double. And, you know, with this head cold, I'm very distressed. That's just not right, you know? It should be at least $1,000. Don't you think so?"

[silence] and then, "um...i don't really know. But i'll pass that message along."

"Ok. Good. Thank you. Like I said before, I have a terrible head cold and I might not even be accepting telephone calls tomorrow. I mean, it just goes right through my head. You know?"

[head explodes]




"Anyway, thank you for your time."

Oh. My. Fucking. God. Why??? Why does anyone think that people care anymore? I know I don't and I don't expect anyone else to care, except maybe close friends and people related to me by blood.

I consider myself a pretty liberal person, but somewhere along the way, the PC-ing of America has led everyone to believe that they are special. And I mean, I'm sure you're special to someone, but you're not special to me. You're wasting my time and yours because I'm just gonna scream after I slam the phone down. I don't want to hear about your head cold. I don't care. Just give me the message and I will relay it, but I am not going to empathise with you because I don't make enough to give a shit about hundreds of random strangers everyday.

Just now, I tried to do the math in my head, and I talk to at least 100 people everyday and most of them I talk to for the very first time. How can anyone expect me to care? That's just ridiculous. I'm not the pope. I'm not running for president and I am certainly not running for Jesus. So, please, random people who call anyone, encounter anyone in the service industry:

STOP UNLOADING YOUR STUPID FUCKING PROBLEMS ON STRANGERS. IT'S RUDE AND REALLY ANNOYING. SAVE IT FOR YOUR PRIEST/THERAPIST/HOOKER. STOP KIDDING YOURSELVES. MOST PEOPLE DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ANYTHING PAST THEIR OWN NOSES. THE SOONER YOU GET USED TO IT, THE BETTER.

[exhale] Wow. I'm glad I got that off my chest. Please, feel free to comment/vent your similar experiences. Let it out. This time, someone does care. Until I post again, and then all bets are off. Aaaaannndd.....go.